First Time, First Try
by JaneyWaney204
Summary: Three words...eight letters.” Realization washed across his expression as he figured it out. “Say it...and I’m yours.” Set at the end of 2x01 Summer, Kind of Wonderful CB...enjoy!
1. Say It

**Summary: **"Three words...eight letters." Realization washed across his expression as he figured it out. "Say it...and I'm yours."  
Set at the end of 2x01 (Summer, Kind of Wonderful)  
Would Chuck say the very words Blair wanted so much to hear...the very ones that he feared?

**A/N: **This is my first fanfic (yay!) so if it does suck, take it easy on me. Oh and if you write a review (which I would love!), try not to use extremely big words...I am a blondie, after all xP  
Enjoy! (:

**Disclaimer: **Ok, I do not own Gossip Girl in any way. If I did, I would be rubbing it in your face :P But I don't...so, yeah. _Curse this world!_

* * *

Chapter 1: Say It

As I heard his footsteps behind me, I turned around only to see him approach me, determined to make things right. However, I haven't forgotten what he did.

"Chuck...aren't you done trying to destroy my night?" I asked.

"Look, I should never have abandoned you. I knew I made the wrong decision as soon as your plane took off. I distracted myself all summer, hoping I wouldn't feel it, but I still do."

The words shocked me as I felt that familiar flutter in my stomach (darn alcohol). He looked up at me and our gazes locked. I softened, but only a bit.

"And?"

"I was scared...I was scared that if we spent the whole summer together, just us, then you'd see..."

I was confused. "See what?"

"Me."

Suddenly I understood. But not all was yet forgotten.

"Please don't leave with him," he whispered, reaching out for my arm and begging me with his sullen eyes to stay.

"Why? Give me one good reason...and 'I'm Chuck Bass' doesn't count."

"Because you don't want to,"

I sighed. "Not good enough..."

"Because I don't want you to," he answered, forcing all of his emotion into his voice.

"It's not enough," I said my voice breaking at the end.

I looked up at him and a thought came to me; a thought I would have never even considered unless I was drunk or insane, a thought that wouldn't have even crossed my mind until that night in the limo after Victrola.

"_You sure?" he had asked._

"What else is there?" he pleaded.

"The true reason I should stay right where I am and not get in the car," I took a deep breath, silently praying I wouldn't regret this, and continued.

"Three words...eight letters."

Realization washed across his expression as he figured it out.

"Say it...and I'm yours."

He gulped and started, "I..."

My eyes glanced around his beautiful, pained face as he tried so hard to say the words that even the great Chuck Bass feared. I almost mouthed them to him, but then stopped as I decided that he should say it himself, without any help.

"I...l-"

I felt the hot tears stinging against my eyes; wanting desperately to fall free and make me vulnerable to him. I wasn't going to wait around forever for him to suck it up, be a man, and confess. I had better things to do.

Reluctantly, I pulled my arm out of his grasp and chocked on my words.

"Thank you...that's all I needed to hear."

Hearing Marcus on the way, I turned back around, gulping back the overwhelming pain that was trying so hard to swallow me.

As the seconds ticked by, the whole time I felt his eyes on me. I wanted to look back...to see him quickly one more time, but I restrained myself and plastered on a fake smile as Marcus pulled up in a red convertible and drove me away from a heartbroken Charles Bartholomew Bass.

* * *

All I could do was stand there and watch her leave me.

I had my chance and I screwed it up, and now Blair is in the arms of some knock-off duke with a weak British accent who still manages to be the luckiest guy in the world.

Men would kill to be in his place right now...to be able to hold and kiss the beautiful girl that was Blair Waldorf, the very one that puts Audrey Hepburn to shame.

I looked down, cursing myself for managing to lose her yet again. Behind me, I heard the hushed whispers of Gossip Girl's secret army, taking pictures of me, Chuck Bass, upset over a girl.

I wouldn't let this get to me. My subconscious mind was the one to drag me to my only escape right now.

"Chuck!"

I walked past her, not wanting to deal with anyone right now.

"Chuck, wait up!" called Serena.

"Chuck, slow down!"

I faced her now. Her blonde hair was skillfully perched on her head in a mess of curls and her white dress billowed around her. But I couldn't see why Blair always compared herself to her. Sure, Serena was pretty, in her own Serena way, but Blair had a different beauty, a certain charm...sophisticated and elegant, and yet sexy at the same time.

Besides, I prefer brunettes. Actually, one in particular, but she isn't exactly falling for me.

"What do you want?" I hissed at her.

"Chuck, what happened with Blair?"

The pain ruffled through me; the memory of what had just happened burning fresh in my mind.

"Nothing. Now if you'll excuse me, _sis_," I said, almost spitting the word, "there's a bottle of Scotch with my name on it."

"Getting drunk isn't going to change anything."

"It's worked wonders before (sarcasm coated my tone), why wouldn't it work now?"

"Because you fell in love!" she said in a harsh whisper.

I growled. "Chuck Bass doesn't fall in love."

And with that, I walked over to the bar, grabbed a bottle and poured some of the alcoholic amber fluid into a glass.

I gulped the first half down slowly, waiting for it to wash the pain away as it swam down my throat.

My mind was spinning with thoughts. I pressed the cool glass to my head and it helped control the dizziness.

Three words...eight letters. I could've said them and I would've been hers.

* * *

**A/N: **So kinda depressing and short, sorry. But, good news, there should be some "fluff" (why do they call it that anyways?) in the next chapter. Serena, as well as some of the main characters, will be making some appearances, but this story is centered on CB.

Spare a review, govna? (:  
(I'll give you a cookie if you do...)

xoxo,

Jane ")


	2. Memories

**Summary: **"Three words...eight letters." Realization washed across his expression as he figured it out. "Say it...and I'm yours."  
Set at the end of 2x01 (Summer, Kind of Wonderful)  
Would Chuck say the very words Blair wanted so much to hear...the very ones that he feared?

**A/N: **So I have no idea why this A/N wasn't posted in this chapter. I hope you guys didn't think that this was the end (:  
Anyways, the third chapter is up now...enjoy! :D

**Disclaimer:** Ok I do not own Gossip Girl in any way. If I did, I would be rubbing it in your face :P But I don't...so, yeah. _Curse this world!_

* * *

Chapter 2: Memories

"Well, here we are."

I looked up to see my vacation house.

_Ugh, finally! _I thought.

The ride over here was boring and uneventful. The whole time, Marcus droned on and on about how beautiful England was and how he loved every second we spent together and how I looked so pretty, _blah-blah-blah_...  
However, all I could think about was Chuck...my mind burned at the image of his pained face. Why didn't I just wait a little bit longer? I mean, surely he would have said it...eventually...right?

"So, how about it?"

"Huh?" Marcus's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Breakfast, tomorrow, with me? I'll pick you up at 10." he asked again.

"Umm...sure...why not?"

He examined my un-enthusiastic response for a moment before asking, "Is everything all right, Blair?"

"Hmm? Oh no, I'm fine." I lied.

"Are you sure?" He didn't seem convinced by my answer.

"Yeah, I'm sure." I gave him a weak smile to get him off my back.

Suddenly, my phone chimed.

"Hold on," I reached into my patent white clutch to find a blast from Gossip Girl.

"What is it now?" I mumbled.

"Sorry, what was that?" asked Marcus.

"Nothing," I replied as I flipped it open, eyes scanning the screen.

**Spotted: Chuck Bass, watching miserably as a favorite brunette of ours jumps into a car with a new guy. Who is this mystery man? Count on me to get you the answer as soon as possible. Why the long face, C? There are plenty of fish in the pond...you'll just have to keep looking. Hope you don't drown.**

**xoxo,**

**Gossip Girl**

I could've sworn that I felt my insides twist more than a pretzel (not that I would ever eat one of those: that's for people who live in _Brooklyn_) as I saw the picture of Chuck standing by the driveway, watching with an unbearable pain as the red car drove out of sight.  
Why didn't I just give him another chance? I shouldn't have asked that much of him...what was I thinking? Of course, he wouldn't say it.

Unexpectedly, my eyes started to water.

"Blair, are you okay?" he asked, concern in his voice.

"Yes. I'm just...allergic to cologne. Something in it makes my eyes water."

"Oh, sorry. I won't wear it next time."

"Thanks. For the ride home and all." I gave him the best smile I could muster and he seemed to buy it.

"Goodnight then." He said, opening the car door for me.

"Goodnight," I replied, focusing on looking at the door instead of him.

"Blair,"

He turned me around and kissed me. I wasn't expecting this at all. I tried to keep myself steady as I waited for the spark that would soon burst into fireworks.  
But it never came. The kiss was stiff and there was no passion. Not like with...him.

Marcus pulled away and smiled at me. I didn't know how to respond. Should I smile back? Should I dump him now for good? Should I just move on from guys completely?

I remembered back to when Chuck stood me up at the helipad and these same thoughts were running through my head. I remembered how I felt after two days passed and Chuck _still_ hadn't shown up. I felt terrible, humiliated. I thought he had finally changed, that he was over his underage drinking and womanizing ways. But who was I kidding? Chuck Bass doesn't fall in love! The very idea of him having a _girlfriend_ was simply unimaginable. I thought that perhaps I could change him...apparently, this was just another one of his games.  
Well, two can play. You know what they say: "Love is sweet, but revenge is sweeter." I'm going to let him know what it feels like to be rejected.

I looked around and sure enough some girls were on the street, camera phones in hand. It reminded me so much of a war scene. They were soldiers in the army, the Gossip Girl army, fighting for the juiciest piece of gossip. Their phones were their weapons. Pressing "Capture" was like pulling the trigger; it sets of a full round of rumors.

"Marcus?" I whispered seductively in his ear. "Have I ever told you how sexy you are?"

He raised an eyebrow in question. "No, I don't recall."

"Hmm...British accents turn me on."

"They do, now?"

"Mhmm..." I nodded, biting my lower lip and leaning to hastily press my lips to his.

We spent some time like that, eventually our tongues dancing together, but never in synchronization. After only one minute, I got bored. This wasn't right; it wasn't the same. I pulled away.

"Did I do something wrong?" Marcus looked worried.

"No...," I paused, thinking of a good reply.  
"It's just that, I don't really feel the chemistry between us. I mean, it was fun, but this isn't working out for me."

"Really?" he asked.

"I'm so sorry. I don't mean to be rude..."

"Actually, I was about to say that, too. I just didn't want to hurt your feelings."

"Really? That's the sweetest thing, thank you. I'm sure there's some other girl out there who would appreciate you more."

"You're right. Thanks, Blair. So we're good?"

"Yeah, we're good." I smiled, kissed his cheek, and waved goodbye to him as he left.

---

As I lay in bed that night, three things repeatedly ran through my mind. First was what I had been thinking of right before I kissed Marcus...even though revenge is relieving sometimes, it can't beat the power of true love. And that lead me to my second thought: Chuck's speech from the wedding.

"_One thing I learned from my father's courtship of Lily is the importance of perseverance...that in the face of true love, you don't just give up...even if the object of you affection is begging you to." He looked at me with those enticing dark eyes so he was sure I knew that I was that "object"._

My third memory was the blast. Chuck's depressed face, his sullen eyes...how could I do this to him? I barely gave him much of a second chance. Even if he was Chuck Bass, he did comfort me after Nate and I broke up, bring me a $1o,ooo necklace for my birthday, help me fight of that psycho Georgina Sparks, give a speech which practically told the entire Upper East Side that he was in love with me, and attempt to work things out between us. That is, not counting the fact that he stood me up in Tuscany...

Anyways, I decided I would talk to him tomorrow and let him try again.  
I smiled as I pulled on my sleeping mask and drifted off dreaming of swimming with Chuck on the beach.

_Unfortunately, I forgot to think of one thing; one thing that I would very much regret forgetting..._

* * *

I decided to go see the one person who wouldn't judge me, the one person who would be willing to listen. After all, I had to thank him for his work earlier today.

I unlocked on the door and found him sitting on the couch, watching TV. As soon as he saw the expression on my face however, he turned it off.

"Chuck? What are you back so late?"

"Nice to see you too, Eric." I said with a smirk. "Look, I didn't really get a chance to thank you for helping with my research on James. It really helped me out."

"You're welcome." He said with a small smile. "What happened with him anyways?"

I pursed my lips and tried to hold back the sting of the scene by the driveway.

"Turns out he's a British lord named Marcus...complete with an accent." I bit out sarcastically.

"Oh...well, did Blair still like him?" he asked carefully. He knew my feelings for her and how hard it was for me to admit it.

"Yeah. I mean...I guess."

He looked at me intently, hoping for more of an answer as I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

This was going to be a long night.

"Why didn't you say it?" he finally whispered.

After an hour of explaining all of the excruciating details (with Scotch breaks in between to calm me down), I didn't know if I could answer his question.  
However, he was the only one who could help me.

"I just couldn't. The words were on the tip of my tongue, I could've said them. But I didn't. She was on her way out with the duke anyways. It wouldn't have changed her mind."

"What makes you think that? If she didn't care, why would she even ask you to say it then?"

I thought about that for a moment.

"Maybe you're right...you know what? Tomorrow, I'm going go to go apologize. I'll bring her flowers and tell her the words she needs to hear and everything will work out." I said as I smiled, imagining the moment.

"Umm...maybe you shouldn't go with flowers. You remember what happened last time you tried to surprise her with them?" Eric said with a chuckle.

My mind drifted back to the memory of the night before.

_**Spotted: Chuck Bass waiting for the Jitney...a dozen roses in one hand; his heart in the other.**_

_There she was. Heading down the steps ever s gracefully; her beautiful chocolate hair tied back at her neck in a ponytail with...look at that! Another headband.  
As soon as she saw me, she looked over, her mouth hanging open in shock.  
Serena's earlier words rang through my head: "Blair will never forgive you for what you did to her."  
And right before I left: "Good luck on your suicide mission!"  
She sure has a gift for pep talks.  
But as soon as I saw her face, my mouth automatically turned into a smirk. A couple of weeks without seeing her must have made me crazy.  
Sure, I was expecting her shock and surprise, and even maybe anger.  
But I sure as hell wasn't prepared for the next scene that unfolded in front of me._

_After Blair, the next person that followed was some random guy. Little did I know that apparently, he and Blair had something going on with each other. As soon as he set the bags down he reached over to her and she kissed him._

_The smile on my face instantly fell into a frown as she looked at me and raised her eyebrows in challenge. I couldn't bear to watch it any longer so I walked away._

"Good idea...you know they have a Tiffany's here. I'll go pick something up there in the morning. "

"Much better. Goodnight, Chuck." called Eric as I made my way up the stairs.

"Goodnight. Oh, and thanks for the help and all."

As I lay in my bed that night, I couldn't help but wonder...did I really love Blair? I mean, of course I had feelings for her, but were they really like _that_? Would I really be able to tell her the words that even _I _was scared of? Me, Chuck Bass?

Tomorrow would be a long day; I needed my rest.

I drifted off to sleep dreaming of the night at her seventeenth birthday. The first night I ever apologized...to anyone, for that matter. Just like her first time was with me...in the back of my limo that fateful night after Victrola.

* * *

**A/N: **Ok, so I kind of lied. I _thought_ there was going to be more fluff in this chapter...but then I had a whole new idea for this and the next chapter which changed that. So the next couple of chapters will be a little angsty, but the fluff will make an appearance soon ;)

A review? For me?  
Well thank you...it means a lot to me x)

xoxo,

Jane ")


	3. Surprise

**Summary: **"Three words...eight letters." Realization washed across his expression as he figured it out. "Say it...and I'm yours."  
Set at the end of 2x01 (Summer, Kind of Wonderful)  
Would Chuck say the very words Blair wanted so much to hear...the very ones that he feared?

**A/N:** So sorry I took forever to update...for some reason I can only write before I go to bed, and I go to bed at like 2 in the morning. Therefore, my mother isn't too pleased with me and I usually don't write then. However, we worked out a plan and I should now be able to write more often for you guys. I'm hoping for more reviews to get me motivated to continue (:  
Enjoy! This is one is a little dark and the next one may be too, for a bit, but stay with me here...

**Disclaimer: **Ok I do not own Gossip Girl in any way. If I did, I would be rubbing it in your face :P But I don't...so, yeah. _Curse me for not coming up with a better disclaimer!_

* * *

Chapter 3: Surprise

"I love you, Blair."

I gasped. Surely this was a dream.

"I'm not Chuck Bass without you," he continued.

I just stared at him, speechless.

"Chuck...I lo-"

"Oh and one more thing..."

I knew I was dreaming for sure once he got down on one knee and pulled out a ring box.

"Blair Cornelia Waldorf, will you marry me?" he asked with a stupid grin on his face.

"WHAT?!" I shrieked and he just laughed.

"Now we can be together Blair; forever and always."

"What's going on, Chuck?!"

"I love you, I love you, I love you" were the words he kept repeating over and over in a singsong voice.

_What the hell was wrong with him?!_

I suddenly screamed out of what I think was utter shock. As soon as I ran out of breath, I quickly glanced around at my surroundings. I was now in a hospital bed and I looked over to see that I was gripping the life out of Chuck's hand. Wait...why was he wearing a ring on his finger?! Suddenly, a nurse wearing a surgical mask looked up at me and said, "Congratulations, Mrs. Bass...it's a beautiful baby girl."  
Next thing I knew, I heard a baby crying and then I woke up.

I was breathing heavily and the sheets around me were all tousled. I looked up to see the early morning sun streaming through my window, tickling my curtains in the light breeze.

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down.

_Whoa. Some dream. No...more like a nightmare, _I thought.

My alarm clock read 6:13. All of it was clear now. My mind instantly flew to last night's memories, but they were faint. It was still morning, after all. However, one detail I recalled simply. I asked Chuck to tell me he loved me and he didn't. And then he was upset...why, again?

Ugh, I couldn't remember much because now all I was think about was that dream...or nightmare?

Why would I consider it a nightmare, though? I mean, Chuck told me he loved me; that should be a good thing, right? But then what about the proposal, and his ring, and since when did people address me as Mrs. _Bass_?  
And that baby screaming...it rang through my ears. But it wasn't just any baby; it was _my_ baby, my own daughter.

I shuffled over to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My hair was...well, calling it a tangled mess would be an understatement. And my skin was paler than usual.  
_Probably because of that dream, or whatever it was..._

Just then, as I turned to examine my face from the side, I gasped at what I saw.  
Dried up saliva streaking from the left side of my mouth.

_Oh crap...no! Not the-_

I looked at my pillowcase in horror as I saw the same spit streak running right across it.

I rushed back to the sink and turned on the water, scrubbing away the drool marks on my face. Only Daddy, Dorota, and I knew that the only time I drooled in my sleep was when something was wrong or bothering me.

It all came to me so fast; I was slow to comprehend it at first, but I must've been right as all the clues pointed to my theory. In the "dream", _he_ told me he loved me, and then _he_ proposed and I must've said yes because that would explain my new last name and _his_ ring. And mine too, now that I thought about it. All I remember was something cutting into my finger as I squeezed _his_ hand. And that thought brought me to the baby crying. A _Bass_ baby...?

After only a couple of minutes did I realize that the water was ice cold. I let out a little shriek as I felt it stinging at the red marks left from my fingers desperately trying to get rid of the evidence.  
I quickly shut up as I realized that Dorota was still asleep; Eleanor (it's hard for me to imagine calling her "mom") was away in Italy for business...again.

Little tears prickled at my eyelashes and slowly made their way down my cheeks as I steadily shifted my gaze to the toilet.

There it stood, taunting me and begging me to come closer and fill him up.

"There's no way," I whispered, as if I was talking to it.

_Come on...you know you want to, _it replied.

"No, I don't," I answered as strongly as I could. But every second, I stepped nearer and nearer.

_Come on Blair, I'm here to help you...I'll relieve all of your pain and sorrows and flush them away..._

"No," I whimpered, now dangerously close to it.

_Blair, stop!_

Hearing voices in my head, I must be insane! But hearing this new voice, _his _voice, made me all the more convinced.

_Don't do it! You're beautiful the way you are; don't hurt yourself like this! Stay strong, battle it out. You're not Queen B for nothing._

Hearing that, I slammed the lid down so hard that as soon as it collided with the seat, I jumped up from the loud noise.  
I quickly splashed some cold water onto my face.  
The water was running so loud, that I didn't hear the soft knock on the bathroom door until I turned it off. I didn't know that I'd locked the door...

As I looked at the toilet disgustingly, I realized that it was an old habit.

I opened the door cautiously as the doorway revealed the plump maid standing there with only concern in her eyes.

"Is everything okay, Miss Blair?" she asked worriedly, in her heavy Polish accent.

All of it: the memories, the dream, the past, present, and future, were too overwhelming for me right now. I was tired of holding it all in.

"Oh, Dorota," I cried as I leaned in to her and sobbed quietly into her robe-covered shoulder.

"Everything is going to be alright, Miss Blair. I promise."

_I hope so..._

* * *

"Thanks, Dorota."

"Now how about some breakfast?"

She just nodded her head with a smile and walked over to the bathroom to wash up.

As I made my way out the door, something caught my eye. I walked over to Miss Blair's bed and stared in shock at one of the pillows. A faint mark was marked across it. She had drooled in her sleep.

Something was wrong, and I had a feeling I knew just what it was.

The toilet seat, the running water, the pillowcase...

"Oh no," I whispered.

I looked at her getting ready with sympathy, hoping she wouldn't do it again, and wordlessly went to send prepare breakfast, pillowcase in hand.

* * *

As I walked into Tiffany's, my eyes glanced around the store, scanning to find the shiniest and most expensive piece there.

A short, redheaded girl wearing a pinstriped suit and a Swarovski-encrusted name plate reading "Elaine" walked up to me and asked, "Can I help you with something?"

_I'm Chuck Bass, _I thought, _I don't ask for help._

However, desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Yes, actually. I'm looking for something really nice and elegant...and expensive."

She just laughed and said, "Like a sorry-I-screwed-up gift?"

"Kinda like that..." I mumbled.

"Gotcha. Right this way," she replied as she lead me to the ring section.

"Oh no, I'm not looking for a ring...I mean, it's not like that."

She looked puzzled. "Isn't this for someone special?"

_Someone special..._the words repeated over and over in my head and I felt a hint of dizziness. I'm not even sure from what: the thought of Blair herself or the thought of her being...not "Waldorf" anymore.  
I've never thought about it that way. Blair was definitely someone special, probably even more, but not exactly _that_ kind of someone special.

"Yeah, but she's not my g-"

Suddenly, something caught my eye. It was perfect and I (hoped) she would love it.

"You know what? I think I'm going to get this." I said pointing to the display.

---

I fixed my tie nervously as I glanced at my watch. It was 9' o clock. I decided that she should be awake by now and this way, if it all worked out, we could go to breakfast together.

With a thudding heart and a stomach full of stupid fluttering butterflies, I rang the doorbell and prepared for the wrath of Blair Waldorf.

The door opened only to reveal, to my relief, Dorota with a silk pillowcase in her hands.

"Mister Chuck, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I'm here to apologize to Blair...is she here?"

"Yes, but she is in the backyard-"

"Thank you," I said as I stepped through the door and walked in the direction of the pool.

"Wait! Mister Chuck! There's something you should know first..."

I turned around and looked back at her, slightly annoyed, as she held up the pillowcase so I could see it clearly.

"Oh crap," I said as I noticed what she had been trying to point out. "She didn't, did she?"

The maid just nodded her head sadly.  
"Don't hurt her. She doesn't need more stress."

"Okay,"

I quietly walked over to the screen door and opened it to see her. She looked ravishing as she was sunbathing in the sun. Her bikini hugged her every curve and my breath caught in my throat at the sight of her, which she happened to hear.

"Serena? Is that you? Why haven't you been returning any of my calls?" she asked as she stood up and turned in my direction.

As soon as she saw me she gasped.

After what seemed like hours, she finally spoke first, her voice just above a whisper, her face looking down at the ground.

"What are you doing here?"

"Blair, I came to apologize for everything I've done. For leaving you in Tuscany, for not saying those three words you wanted me to say."

She finally looked up at me. I noticed that her cheeks shined in the light, but only because they were covered with tear streaks. My heart fell at the sight of her upset and I immediately rushed over to comfort her.

"Blair, it's okay. It's all my fault, I'm so sorry." I said as I reached for her hand and pulled her into me.

Her petite body rocked with her muffled sobs as I let her cry in peace while gently caressing her hair and face, wiping away as much tears as I could.

"Are you done washing my new shirt?" I lightly teased.

She let out a throaty laugh and said "Yeah."

"Well, good because I have a surprise for you." I said with a smile.

Her eyes instantly lit up at the mention of a present.

"What is it?" she asked, her smile growing wider.

I grinned back and reached into my pocket to pull out a small, square box.

Before I could even open it, she suddenly went limp in my arms as she moaned "Oh God, no." and fainted.

* * *

I was becoming unaware of everything. The only thing I had could hold on to at the moment was his voice calling my name.

"Blair! Blair! Blair, are you okay? Blair! I'm sorry I never told you this but I-"

He was cut off by the weight of the darkness pulling me in.

* * *

**A/N: **-gasp- Oh no! Poor Blair! No worries...we all know what a tough cookie she is ;) I also decided to add some of Dorota's POV in there, and I think you will see a little bit more of that in the future chapters. It's still a CB story; I just need to add her in there for foreshadowing -wink, wink-

Please review.  
It will help Blair feel better faster ;D

xoxo,

Jane ")


	4. Love, War, and GG

**Summary: **"Three words...eight letters." Realization washed across his expression as he figured it out. "Say it...and I'm yours."  
Set at the end of 2x01 (Summer, Kind of Wonderful)  
Would Chuck say the very words Blair wanted so much to hear...the very ones that he feared?

**A/N: **This one is kind of short, sorry.

**Disclaimer: **Ok I do not own Gossip Girl in any way. If I did, I would be rubbing it in your face :P But I don't...so, yeah. _Curse me for not coming up with a better disclaimer!_

* * *

Chapter 4: Love, War, and Gossip Girl

"Blair, I love you so much. Ever since Victrola, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I've never wanted a girl so much, but I don't deserve you." He whispered sadly.

All of a sudden, his lips brushed against mine ever so carefully. It felt so true, so real...  
A smile formed on my lips at his touch.

Then something cold pressed against my head and the low temperature made me unwillingly flutter my eyes open. I scowled at the fact that my lovely daydream was over. I lift my head up from what I noticed to be Chuck's shoulder and pulled a cool, damp towel from my forehead.

I shook it in front of Chuck's face.

"Is this my punishment?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I was having a perfect dream and then this cold rag snapped me out of it. What did I do to you, Bass?" I asked sarcastically.

He chuckled, "Well, where should I start? You mistook me for a blondie, got my new shirt all wet, and then fainted on me."

My cheeks flushed. "Right. Sorry about that by the way."

"It's fine...what made you faint anyways? Was it the sight of my handsome self?" he smirked cheekily.

His comment didn't make the blush disappear any faster. "Actually, no." I racked at my brain for an excuse.  
"I guess I just didn't feel well," was all I said, hoping he would drop the subject, and to my relief, he did.

I looked around hoping to find something to talk about. The first thing I saw, however, was the small, square box, now sitting abandoned on the table.

Chuck followed my gaze and saw what I was looking at.

"You fainted before I got a chance to give it to you. You ready for it now?"

He smiled and my stomach flipped; I'm not sure if it was him or the unknown contents of the mysterious box.

"Yes," I lied meekly, hoping he wouldn't notice the whimper in my voice.

He gave me a strange look, but ignored it.

As he reached for it and opened it, my heart stopped.

"Blair, you can open your eyes," he said.

My eyes quickly opened as I realized that I had closed them in the moment.

They now stared at the beautiful object in the box's velvet cushion.

I gasped, "Oh, it's so beautiful."

"You like it?" he asked, nervously.

I nodded at him, breathing out a huge sigh of relief, and said, "Of course!"

"It's to remind you of who you are. I got you a bracelet, too."

He reached into his jacket and pulled out a link bracelet to match the stunning crown charm he had gotten me.

I giggled as he hooked on the crown and fastened the bracelet on my arm. As I twirled my arm in the light, the 18 karat gold glistened against my skin.

"For my Queen B," he said, kissing my hand gently, and admiring the piece of jewelry.

"Chuck," I looked up at him now, "Thank you. It's perfect." _And not a ring, _I added in my head.

"Perfect for a sorry-I-screwed-up gift?" he asked.

I just nodded silently. His face was serious now. He turned me so I was staring directly at him and spoke.

"I came to apologize...to say that I'm sorry for all of the pain that I caused you."

The look in his eyes showed that he meant it.

There they were...the words were dancing on the tip of my tongue, acting like hyperactive 5-year-olds, wanting only to be spoken.

"Chuck, I-"

Just then, both of our phones went off.

As I opened my new message and saw the thumbnail of the new video streaming on Gossip Girl, I felt breakfast unappealingly sliding back up my throat.

This cannot be good.

* * *

Reading the new Gossip Girl blast, all I could do was stand there frozen, watching the video of Blair and Marcus making out in front of the house.

I scrolled down to read the caption.

**Chuck Bass raising the white flag over at B's. Sorry for the interruption, lovebirds...I just thought Blair's new boyfriend should know the truth about her and the Duke's love of hockey. Tongue hockey, that is. All's fair in love, war, and sex. Let's hope she didn't get **_**that**_** far.**

**xoxo,**

**Gossip Girl**

"Blair, what the hell is this?!" I screamed.

"Chuck, that was from last night! Nothing happened, I swear!" she replied, trying to convince me.

"Blair!"

I wasn't the one to call her name this time.

Marcus walked in through the doorway. The cheery smile on his face faded as he saw the scene in front of him.

"What's going on-"

"What are you doing here?!" I yelled at him.

"I'm here to take Blair to breakfast. Sorry, is this a bad time?" he asked, bewildered.

I turned back to an upset Blair. I tried my best to ignore the pain her tears brought me. She was, after all, lying; Gossip Girl even had the proof.

_Then again, she has been wrong before; maybe there was some explanation..._

Her voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"We broke up! It's over!"

"Yes, it _is _over. Goodbye, Blair."

I just glared at Marcus on my way out the door and out of Blair's life.

---

As I sat at the bar, my phone buzzed and buzzed with an overload of calls, texts, and voicemails. I just shut it off, not wanting anything right now other than a refill.

The bottle of Scotch was drowned in no time. I closed my eyes lazily and tried to escape everything.

_All's fair in love and war._

_Love..._

The word rang endlessly through my head, never shutting up.

* * *

**A/N: **Stupid Marcus. Stupid Gossip Girl. -curses- I don't want to give too much away, but I will say that this story isn't even close to over. Hope to have a new chapter up tomorrow night, stay tuned for what happens next... -duhn duhn duhn-

Everytime you review, Marcus gets slapped with a fish (:

xoxo,

Jane ")

* * *


	5. Queen B

**Summary: **"Three words...eight letters." Realization washed across his expression as he figured it out. "Say it...and I'm yours."  
Set at the end of 2x01 (Summer, Kind of Wonderful)  
Would Chuck say the very words Blair wanted so much to hear...the very ones that he feared?

**Disclaimer: **Ok I do not own Gossip Girl in any way. If I did, I would be rubbing it in your face :P But I don't...so, yeah. _Curse me for not coming up with a better disclaimer!_

* * *

Chapter 5: Queen B

I stared at my pitiful reflection in the mirror. My eyes were red and my cheeks were soaked with tears. After crying for the past half hour, all I had left were hiccups. Marcus left as soon as he came. No need for an explanation; he had figured it all out. It was obvious by Chuck's reaction to his entrance and my screaming pleas that I lost my appetite for breakfast. I think he said that he had to go somewhere, but I wasn't sure where, for my waterworks blocked out the noise.

How could I screw this up?! I can't believe I even tried getting revenge on Chuck...all that he did for me made up for everything else. I didn't even care about the rest; I just wanted to be with him, once and for all.

I was about to say _it_ right before Gossip Girl sent out that stupid blast. He probably would've said it too...sure, the only times he's told me was in my dreams, but still! Wasn't that a sign?

Right now, I wanted nothing more than to be with him. To see his handsome face, to feel his warm embrace, to kiss his loving lips...

I took a deep breath and turned on the water to as cold as it would get. I splashed it on my face over and over and over until the tears froze.

I heard a voice and turned to the toilet.

_Come to me, Blair. I'm your comfort...I'm your best friend, _it called.

_Get the hell out of my head!_

_You know you love me..., _it persisted.

"No," and this time I spoke aloud, "I love Chuck. With him around, I don't need you. I'm sick and tired of you screwing everything up. I'm beautiful just the way I am."

And I flushed that all away, watching the water drain down the white bowl.

The silence that surrounded me afterwards made me realize that the water was still running.

I turned it off and looked once more in the mirror. I stood up straight and tall and ran my hand through my hair only to notice the sorry-I-screwed-up gift that now adorned my hand. I grabbed the charm and stared at it, reminding myself that I was Queen B, ruler of Constance Billard. Nothing stands in my way.

_Except for Chuck Bass._

Little did I know that outside the bathroom door, I had a guest waiting for me. He had probably been standing there for a while, but I didn't even care how much he heard.

I just leaned into him and held the new wave of tears back, not wanting to ruin the moment. His arms wrapped around me and held on tight.

Feeling unusually tired, I fell asleep.

* * *

"_How did you know where I was?" was the only question that popped in my mind as he entered the bar and walked up to me._

"_Lucky guess," he said._

"_What do you want, my lord?" I asked in a clipped sarcastic tone._

"_I'm here to talk to you about Blair." he replied calmly._

"_She loves anything expensive and shiny. But whatever you do, skip the flowers."_

"_I'm not looking for gift advice."_

"_Then what?"_

"_I'm here to tell you that nothing happened at all between me and Blair."_

"_Trying to defend your title?"_

"_No. I'm telling you the absolute truth."_

"_I don't believe you," I said with narrowed eyes._

"_I suppose it was my fault. I was the one to kiss her first," he paused, as if choosing his words carefully then continued, "Turns out, there was never anything there."_

_I didn't know what to say._

"_Look, Chuck, I'm not as stupid as you think I am. I know you want her and that she wants you."_

_Ignoring his last comment, I interrogated him once more._

"_Then why did you stop by her house today?"_

"_I asked her if she wanted to have breakfast with me, and she agreed. I should've called and asked if she still wanted to go."_

_I took a deep breath, letting it all sink in._

"_Are you positive?"_

"_100 percent. I came over here to talk to some sense into you before you lost her for good. Even though it never worked out for us, I know that she's a great girl...she deserves to be loved. And she is."_

_Without saying another word, he left, leaving me there to coordinate my jumbled thoughts._

_Everything was a mess and nothing made sense._

_Except for one thing._

_I needed to see Blair...now. I needed her more than ever. I needed her to explain to me that everything was going to work out, because she was the only one who could ever convince me of anything._

---

_After I arrived at her house, out of breath, I asked Dorota where Blair was and she pointed to the bathroom._

"_Not again..." I muttered._

_Standing by the door, all I could hear was the toilet flushing and the water running. I was too late. And it was all my fault. Because of me, her breakfast was swimming through a sewer._

_I hadn't noticed her come out until she ran into me. I didn't bother to say anything, and gladly, neither did she. I realized that I didn't want anything now: no explanations, no tears, no apologies...just her presence and the calming silence._

After I heard her light snores, I knew that she was asleep for sure. It must've been her stressful day that knocked her out.

Careful as not to wake her, I carried her up the stairs and set her down on the bed. She stirred for a bit, but finally settled, resting her head on my shoulder, just like after she fainted. I pulled her into me tighter and kissed her forehead.

"I love you, Blair Waldorf; always have, always will." I whispered in her ear.

Maybe she heard me...maybe she didn't. It just felt good to say it to her, even if she was halfway in Dreamland.

I closed my eyes, seeing only her face behind my eyelids.

* * *

"_I love you, too." I mumbled with a smile._

The words that even my subconscious mind could utter to him...

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry...I know this one is very short. I just didn't know how else to end it well. No worries; I will update tomorrow. I am currently working on that one-shot, as well as another fanfic (CB, of course!)  
In the next chapter, there'll be lots of fluff (whenever I hear that word, I swear I imagine cotton candy and kitty cats) and any confusion should be cleared up, as well as another surprise (however, I'm not 100% sure about the surprise; I always change my mind while writing).

Oh, and you can find B's charm bracelet at : search **"crown bracelet"** & click the gold one.

Wanna review?  
It's free, plus you get a bonus gift...a [virtual] hug from me! ;D

xoxo,

Jane ")


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